A sex therapist has explained why he thinks some straight men have sex with gay men — despite his theory sparking a furious debate online.
In a series of videos shared on TikTok that have racked up millions of views, sex expert Dr Joe Kort argues that “when straight men have sex with men it’s not a gay thing, it’s a guy thing”.
“In general men have more transactional sex with one another, in general women don’t,” he said in a video posted this week.
“Men have objectified sex where it’s just about the act, it’s just about getting off.”
Dr Kort is a US-based sex and relationships expert who has a doctorate in clinical sexology. He works as a psychotherapist and relationships coach, and has written several books on sexuality.
He’s recently found a new following on TikTok, where the relationships expert has more than 300,000 followers.
Dr Kort came out as gay aged 14 and is part of a movement to “separate what we do sexually in terms of our identity”.
He believes that “sexual behaviour doesn’t determine sexual orientation”, as “if I’m never sexual another day in my life, I’m still a gay man”.
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Dr Kort said that his views often rubbed people the wrong way and led to him being accused of being in the closet — despite the fact he has “come out many years ago”.
That hasn’t stopped people in the comments section of his videos saying that any straight man who does have sex with a gay man is “in denial” and should “just come out bro”.
“Bro what???” one comment on his latest video on the topic reads.
However he does have his supporters, who argue that you can “eat steak and still be a vegan”.
“People amaze me! The double standard too. Some women ‘make out’ with other women and are 100 per cent straight. (Guys don’t mind that so much!),” another person wrote.
REASONS WHY STRAIGHT MEN HAVE SEX WITH GAY MEN
According to Dr Kort, one reason that straight men had sex with gay men was because they were “attracted to the sex act, but not the man”.
And just because a straight man enjoyed gay sex it didn’t mean they were bisexual either, he said.
“Straight men are not attracted to men, they’re attracted to the sex with men,” Dr Kort explained in one video.
“Could some of these men be gay or bisexual? Absolutely, but that comes over time and that’s a trajectory that only they can be in touch with to figure that out.”
Another reason a straight men could have sex with a gay man was because they had narcissistic tendencies and were “looking for adoration”, he said.
They wanted to be “worshipped” in the bedroom — something that women often didn’t do to men during sex, Dr Kort argued.
“The straight man who is having sex with another man is into it because the guy is into him, it’s all about him,” he said.
Straight men could also enjoy sexual acts with a gay man if they had a voyeurism fetish because, again, women often weren’t as “available” for it, Dr Kort argues.
For some people any act of voyeurism “can be so arousing that it’s enough for orgasm”, Dr Kort explained.