The Married At First Sight contestants react painfully when a new groom informs them of his bisexuality, in what is the most predictable moment of the series.
The contestants gasp with wide eyes and laugh uncomfortably at the revelation, as if their decision to blindly marry strangers on television is the most conservative and traditional thing in the world.
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And in just one of those totally old-fashioned things that happens in any regular marriage, another husband has gone missing. James has been gone for 24 hours and no one knows where he is. We’d help look, but we really don’t care.
He disappeared after the commitment ceremony where he and Jo bickered and now neither of them wanna be involved in this experiment anymore and we know exactly how they feel.
Suddenly, he reappears and she demands answers.
“Don’t raise your voice. And you’re standing over me. Who are you to me? You’re noth- … you’re nothing to me,” he snaps.
And neither of you are anything to us. From now on, we only like people who have a favourite colour and decorate their entire life with it.
This is Georgia. Hey, Georgia! Tell us a secret about yourself that no one knows!
“I LOVE PINK,” she squeals.
“My whole life, I’ve had a pink room. I’m bubbly, fun and … pink!”
We watch Georgia putting on her pink blazer that matches her pink trousers and she picks up one of her many pink handbags in her pink bedroom.
But don’t be fooled. She might love pink, but she’s also a very serious businesswoman.
To prove it, we see her at the office, tapping away on a laptop and saying business things that only business people know.
“We’re going to need to send emails,” she declares to no one.
The experts pair her with a guy named Liam and, from the moment John Aiken starts describing this gentleman, we know exactly where it’s heading.
“There’s a … sassiness,” John describes Liam while clearly itching to also wave jazz hands.
“Now, Liam is our first bisexual man in the experiment. And he makes it clear that, even though he has been with both men and women, he wants to start a family with a woman.”
There are two weddings today and the original MAFS contestants have been split up to attend them. We ditch the first one and opt for the second ceremony in the hope we’ll see The Sasshole sass the bride’s rude aunt or something.
Upon arrival, we’re instantly disappointed when we see Georgia’s not wearing a pink dress. Not even a selection of pink accessories. In fact, nothing at this wedding is pink. Georgia, either pink is your favourite colour or it’s not. You can’t go making grand claims like that and then fail to back it up.
All throughout the ceremony and reception, Liam is trying to pick the perfect moment to tell his wife he’s bisexual. But that moment isn’t coming fast enough for producers.
They suggest the happy couple head on over to meet their new co-stars. Immediately, it seems like producers have briefed The Sasshole to ask some very particular questions.
“What are your non-negotiables? she asks the bride and groom.
Liam has none.
Then comes a bizarrely specific question.
“What happens if they (your partner) didn’t swing your way?” The Sasshole probes. “Is that not a non-negotiables?”
Liam pauses. “No, it’s fine.”
Georgia hesitates before turning to her husband. “Are you bisexual?” she jokes … kind of.
The Sasshole thinks the possibility of this being true is absolutely hilarious.
Georgia also starts laughing at just how wacky and unbelievable that would be.
Liam doesn’t want to have the conversation right now — in public, around strangers — but he feels he has to. “I am, yeah,” he says.
Georgia stops laughing. “You are?” she grabs his wrist. “Really?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he replies.
One of the other husbands pipes up. “Are you really?”
YES! He has told you several times now!
“What? What did I just hear?” The Sasshole asks the table as Liam stands before them.
“Wait, so … you’re bisexual? … Oh … OK, sorry, yeah,” a stunned Pat tries to hide his shock.
Of course producers are just dying to dial up the awkwardness, so they push the MC onto the stage to announce the cake cutting before Liam and Georgia are ushered away so the rest of the table can gossip.
“It’s a bombshell because we didn’t expect it. And I don’t think she was expecting it because … (it’s the) first day — for that to come out …” she blurts.
Liam is uncomfortable with how everything has played out.
“I can’t believe that just happened … in front of everyone. That’s not how I wanted to tell Georgia,” he says.
She immediately shuts down emotionally and isn’t engaging like she was before. He pulls her outside and asks point-blank what she’s feeling.
“Whatever things you did before, it all led you to be here today, and the person that you are,” she begins.
Whatever things he did before?? He’s bisexual! He didn’t rob a bank.
“As long as you choose to be with me and we are the people we need to be for each other, it doesn’t bother me,” she adds. “Honestly.”
He’s satisfied with that. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work — because marriage is once.”
Marriage is once? Wow. Now that’s the revelation everyone should be gasping at.